The challenge of getting a date

Excuse me as I go off on a bit of a rant....

The trip to the courthouse to apply for our marriage license was incredibly easy. Little did I know, the difficult part would be booking a civil ceremony date. Since neither of us live in DC, the easiest way for us to get married would be to have a shotgun-style courthouse ceremony. When we paid our $35 fee and received a reciept, we were directed to call Ms. Johnson the following day to verify the date we requested. No problem, right? WRONG....

The next day, we called the number provided on the receipt but it always went right to voicemail for a "Dana Whittington" which confused us completely. I called on and off from my office throughout the day without any luck and finally gave up, figuring maybe they were swamped or had the day off.

We tried again Monday and finally reached someone (NOT Ms. Johnson) who said to try back at 2:00. Of course, no one answered when I tried again until I called nonstop and finally reached ANOTHER voice that insisted Ms. Johnson was very busy helping other people and to try again at 4:30. They also gave me a direct line for her so I wouldn't have to go a round-about way anymore. Of course this was no help because every time I dialed her direct line after 4:30, it went to her FULL voicemail so I was unable to even leave a message. I finally tried the original number again and spoke to someone that said to try again in the morning. Is this woman answering prayers or something? She was so elusive!

The next morning, I thought I'd be sneaky by calling a half an hour before the Marriage Bureau opens and did reach someone but they told me to call back at 8:30 and hung up. So I proceeded to call OVER & OVER on my way to work until I finally got a voice on her direct line that put me on hold. I listened to elevator music on speakerphone for my entire drive into the office. I was not going to hang that call up for anything. Ms. Johnson eventually answered after about 10 minutes and was very short with me. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Hi, excuse me I'm out of breath from running into the office! I just need to verify my civil ceremony date...

The elusive Ms. Johnson: What date did you want?

Me:  March 26?

TEMJ: That day's full. *silence*

Me: Ok... errr.... so don't I need to schedule something else with you?

TEMJ: What do you want?

Me: Well why don't you tell me what you have available in March. I'm flexible.

TEMJ: March 24 at 2:30

Me: I'll take it!

So there it is... after chasing down an extremely mysterious woman we finally have our wedding date. Smack in the middle of the week.... but who cares? I'm getting married!!!!!